Quick, Quit Your Job and Become a Blogger

[BREAKING NEWS] You should definitely quit your job right now. Seriously, do it now and then read the rest of this post. In that order. The order is important.

Have you heard of Internet?

It’s a magical place where money falls out of the sky a series of tubes right into your greedy little lap. But you have to play by the rules in order to make money on the internets. Luckily, the rules are simple. What are they?

  1. Move that cat off your lap. (to make room for all that delicious money)
  2. Quit your job.
  3. Start a blog.
  4. ???
  5. Profit!

That’s it. It’s really that simple. Everyone is doing it. Seriously, go to fucking Starbucks at 11am on a weekday and look around at all the people living the dream.

See that guy holding his iPad right up to his face like he’s trying to smell it? Yeah, he’s what we call an Internet Millionaire. And he’s actually working right now, so don’t bother him.

That lady sitting alone at a table for 4 which she’s completely covered with papers? She’s also working as a pro-blogger.

They know the secret. The real secret is that if you start a blog, you’re definitely going to make a fuck-ton of money from it and then you can go to Starbucks and live the dream.

The best part is that you don’t even need to have a good idea. Just blog it up. I hear it works best if you do it from bed with a half-melted pint of Ben & Jerry’s on your nightstand. Or go to Starbucks, obviously.

Look, I don’t have a lot of time right now because this Barista just fucked up my pumpkin latte and I need to talk to her about it. But the important part is that you quit your job and get on this now.

If you don’t know what to blog about, I’ve explained it all in my next post.

OK, OK… Ready for some GOOD blogging advice instead?

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