Here’s Your Fallback Plan

Ok, so, while you’re waiting to make all that money blogging, you’re going to need something to pay the bills before you can retire as a wealthy blogger.

Here’s your fallback plan: become a “Social Media Expert”

This is the latest trend from 5 years ago. Which is like yesterday in geologic time, and like irrelevant in actual time. Basically, cutting edge stuff for a lot of you.

What exactly does a social media expert do?

Well, for one thing, they don’t answer that question in great detail. But I’ll tell you how to become a social media expert.

  1. Register for a Twitter and a Pinterest and probably a Tumblr
  2. Buy a few thousand fake Twitter followers on
  3. You’ve already got a Facebook and a YouTube. Just use what you have already.
  4. Then start emailing businesses something like this, “Hey, I’m a local Social Media Expert (be sure to capitalize it like that, like it actually means something), and I noticed you could be marketing yourself better on Facebook/Pinterest/Twitter. I’d be happy to help you out with that. I have more than 3,000 Twitter followers (see #2, above) and I could (say “could”, not “will”, because hey, anything’s possible) help you get more customers from Social Media (again, capitalize it). You’ve probably heard of all the Social Media sites and know they can help grow your business. I’m here to help.”
  5. Be sure to use really shitty grammar, because, and I’m going to be really honest here, you’re not going to fool any smart people with this pitch and you need a way to weed them out. The last thing you want to do is spend time on the phone with a smart prospect because you’re not going to be able to answer their questions. So, weed out anyone who went to college.

Anyway, make up some kind of price and then talk to them about Facebook a few times. Sign them up for Twitter, and Boom. You’re in business.

If you want to take it to the next level, you could start a blog about being a social media expert. Whoa, that’s a good idea.

OK, OK… Ready for some GOOD blogging advice instead?

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